I want to dedicate my first blog post to my son Arlo Jaye Johnson. My baby boy was born on April 10 2017 9:50 pm…
Everything happened so suddenly.
Now and then, I replay that day over and over again in my head.
His due date was May 2nd 2017. The night of Sunday April 9 I had a mild body ache that I thought I could sleep off. Waking up to the next day it was still there so I called off work and tried to get more rest. Hours passed by and my ache became Braxton Hicks, which are early contractions that help you practice for the real ones closer to labor. I didn’t feel any better and checking online there were a couple ways I could help the contraction fade away, so I tried everything I could. Soon the contractions were less than 5 minutes apart and that’s when I decided to call the birth center. They told me to come down and that’s when I thought everything was going to change, my baby boy is finally going to see his mommy and daddy!
The nurse was asking me a couple questions and checked my vitals. Once she checked for Arlo’s heart beat, the heart rate was higher than normal. She left and came back with a doctor. That’s when he told me my baby was in distress and that I’m going to have a c section that night. I signed some consent papers, got dressed, they put an IV on me and I was all set. I remember the doctor trying to comfort Zoe and I saying “Aww you’re going to hear him yell tonight, thats fun!”.. We were so excited and nervous at the same time.
April 10 2017, my baby boy was born. I didn’t hear him cry, not a sound. Just the doctor telling me they are going to take him to the NICU. Arlo wasn’t getting enough oxygen to his brain 😦
April 11 2017, I got to see him! The first thing that came to my mind when I got in the NICU was “wow this huge baby was inside me” he was so big 6.10 pounds and 18 inches at 37 weeks! I wanted to hold him so badly. I wanted that skin to skin touch like every mom gets with their newborn and give him lots of love and feel his warmth. As much I wanted to cry because I had to see him with lots of tubes on him, I had to show him mommy was strong and we can both get through this together. I held his tiny little hands and prayed he would open his eyes.
That same day the doctor came to our room and told us news that were opposite from what I wanted to hear. My body caught a bacterial infection called “listeria”, this bacteria comes from uncooked poultry, soil, and vegetables etc. Unfortunately, this bacteria invaded my whole placenta which transferred to Arlos body. They put him on antibiotics, steroids, and a hat that will monitor his brain from getting seizures. Arlo needed extra support.
Doctor came in our room once again. Hoping and hoping so much for good news… Again with bad news; Arlo is low on t-cells that the medication needs to attach to, it wasn’t balancing out. More medication needed.
I felt helpless. I didn’t know what to do. We watched him more. We prayed more.
April 12 2017, around 2 a.m I woke up and went to see him. I held his hand and I wondered what he was thinking about. I imagined him in my arms. I imagined packing up and getting to bring him home with us. I imagined him in the home we bought just for him.
Hours passed and the doctor checked the monitor.
As much as I wanted to feel that something positive was going to come out of the doctors mouth, her facial expression made me think otherwise. The infection was taking over his body.
April 12, 2017 at 4:09 a.m was his last heart beat. He was finally in my arms. I whispered “I love you” over and over again. Kissed his soft chubby cheeks, I don’t know how many times. I watched Zoe do the same while tears rolled down our faces. How was I even breathing.
They escorted my family and I in a big room where they laid Arlo on a bed that kept his body stay cool. We watched him lay peacefully and continued to give him so much love till they took him away.
To my sweet little angel baby Arlo,
Mommy and daddy loves you so much. You did the best you can and that’s all we care about. We are so proud of how strong you fought these past 2 days. You even squeezed papas finger, you could have broken it! Mommy and daddy are lucky to have you, to call you our son. You taught us so much these 37 weeks, you changed us, formed your daddy and I to be ready for the unexpected. You made us parents. Mommy and daddy will love stronger for you, laugh more, and not take life for granted. Please watch over us and your fur siblings. Know that we miss you every single day.
I love you son.
Love mama ❤